Let me tell you about this new book “Turn Around & Die” by Glen Hellman. I should probably mention there’s an uncanny resemblance between me and the protagonist, but any similarities to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental… or so my lawyer tells me.
The Plot
For those who enjoy a blend of business intrigue, international espionage, and the occasional murder, this book delivers. The story follows a business coach and blogger (sound familiar?) who gets tangled up with Russian mobsters, North Korean hackers, and mobsters who aren’t entirely terrible people once you get to know them. Just don’t cross them, or you might end up feeding the fish off Sheepshead Bay.
The Characters
The protagonist, Greg Newsome, is obviously the best character—smart, witty, with a penchant for getting himself into dangerous situations while trying to protect those he loves. I particularly enjoyed his realistic struggles between wanting a normal life with his girlfriend Nina and her son Michael, and his apparent addiction to adrenaline-fueled near-death experiences.
The supporting cast is colorful to say the least. There’s “Grumpy” Matt Wagner, the tech genius with timing issues; Dex Johnson, the ex-Marine with a talent for planting fake guns in people’s luggage; and Benny “The Knife” Santini, who somehow makes threats sound like terms of endearment when he calls you “College Boy.” And don’t get me started on Louie “The Bat” Catellano, who doesn’t like sharing his Louisville Slugger.
The Dialogue
The dialogue crackles with wit and tension. I particularly enjoyed the banter between Greg and Grumpy:
“Don’t build me a watch, Matt. Just fucking tell me what time it is.”
The book also features a Scottish Indian businessman whose accent is so thick you’d need subtitles if this were a movie. Trust me, deciphering Raj Patel’s dialogue is like trying to understand economic policy written in hieroglyphics—while drunk.
The Humor
The humor ranges from the darkly comic (like when Greg destroys a $200,000 Chihuly sculpture during an interrogation and then jokes about selling the shards for profit) to the absurdly mundane (awkward hostess bar experiences in Tokyo where “Gleg-san” supposedly looks like “George Krooney”).
I particularly enjoyed the running gag about ridiculous startup ideas: dating apps for cats, fly circuses, and my personal favorite—YellowStream, a device that measures urine flow and reports chemical content. As someone who’s seen his fair share of terrible pitches, I can confirm that truth is often stranger than fiction in the startup world.
The Philosophy
Beneath the action and wisecracks, there’s a surprising amount of philosophical depth. The book explores the ethics of vigilante justice, the gray areas of loyalty and betrayal, and how far one should go to protect loved ones.
Greg’s approach to strategy—what he calls “Just In Time Strategic Planning”—is actually pretty sound: focus on a noun, a verb, and a deadline, and don’t worry about the “three ifs that come after a maybe.”
The book also grapples with the impostor syndrome many leaders face. As Greg thinks to himself during a run in Tokyo, “It was much easier to give advice than to take it.”
Final Thoughts
“Turn Around & Die” is what happens when a business thriller collides with “The Sopranos” and a dash of James Bond. It’s not going to win the Nobel Prize for Literature, but it will keep you turning pages and occasionally snorting coffee through your nose.
Would I recommend it? Well, considering I’m biased about the main character, take my opinion with a grain of salt. But if you enjoy flawed protagonists who are trying their best to juggle business ethics, personal relationships, and the occasional dance with death, then yes—this book is for you.
Just remember: when a mobster offers you mutton chops, don’t ask questions. Just eat it like a real man.
You can get your copy of Turn Around & Die at Amazon by linking here.
